Parental Choice and Parenting Too Much

Dear Reader,

Can you parent too much?

Australia is witnessing a significant demand for psychologists, with a projected 13.3 per cent increase in job opportunities by 2026. Factors explaining the exponential increase include a change in society’s attitude towards mental health, increased awareness, and the growing prevalence of mental health disorders. That there is an increase in mental health problems is universally agreed and indisputable, however, research into the causes of the increase is scant. 

I frequently call out the constant catastrophising of the climate in schools as a major contributor to a significant decline in mental wellbeing but there are other practices that have become mainstream that also contribute to the mental health crisis among our young – for example, the use of tracking apps.

Most teens (and even some adults) now believe that being tracked is normal. The temptation to use one of the many free tracing devices and track a child’s movements is understandable – particularly as their geographic world widens and they start to travel to school by public transport, or as their social network expands – but psychologist Sarah O’Doherty says, tracking is “bad for the mental health of both sides”.

O’Doherty argues that tracking creates a culture of distrust and a sense that the parent is always in control or is always around to fix any problem. In this, tracking denies the young person the opportunity to take calculated risks, to problem solve, and to experience situations where they learn to build resilience, healthy independence and self-confidence. Taking risks is crucial for personal growth and development, as it enables young individuals to test their limits, acquire new skills, build competence and self-worth, and take on more responsibility for their lives.

The term ‘helicopter parent’ has been used since the 1980s to mean a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child.

In 2010, a study by researcher Neil Montgomery, a psychologist at Keene State College in New Hampshire, found that students with ‘helicopter parents’ tended to be less open to new ideas and actions, and were more vulnerable, anxious, dependent, and self-conscious.

Online safety advocate and author Ginger Gorman says: “We know from research that kids of helicopter parents grow up far more anxious. What message are you sending your kids? That the world is an unsafe place, and you can’t rely on yourself and solve problems alone. That’s not the message I believe children should be getting from us.”

Given the catastrophising and alarmist nature of the National Curriculum, coupled with the unintended consequences of parenting ‘too much’, it is unsurprising that so many youths feel overwhelmed, unable to cope or under-skilled to manage, and in need of psychological counselling.

Parental Choice

Selective high schools are for high potential and gifted students in Years 7 to 12. While Victoria is the independent schools capital, New South Wales is the selective schools capital of Australia.

In NSW there are 17 fully selective high schools where only high-potential and gifted students can be enrolled. There are 25 partially selective high schools where ‘selected’ students participate in separate English, mathematics and science classes, and join the non-selective students for other subjects. And there are four fully selective agricultural high schools. By comparison, Victoria has four selective schools, and Queensland and Western Australia each have one. 

These schools provide an educational environment that aligns with their students’ strengths, interests, and personal goals, fostering a more engaging and motivating educational experience. For Year 7 entry to a selective school, parents apply when their child is at the end of Year 5 or the beginning of Year 6, and students sit a test.

Research demonstrates that grouping high potential and gifted students together has academic benefits and is also good for emotional wellbeing. The majority of students in these schools report higher levels of satisfaction as a result of learning alongside, and being friends with, like-minded students.

But there is now a push to dismantle these schools after a recent study by the Victoria University. According to the Victoria University report, selective school graduates recorded a 0.19 point increase in general life satisfaction at age 25, a figure the report authors deemed insignificant and said: “These very modest findings indicate that attending an academically selective school does not appear to pay off in large benefits for individual.” The report argues that academically selective schools contradict the principles which underpin Australia’s school system, and has sparked a debate around academic segregation and considerations of scaling these schools back to create a more “inclusive and equitable education system”. 

While the Victoria University findings on immediate post-school outcomes are interesting, they do not capture the full picture of the value and impact of selective schools. Other research, such as studies on UK grammar schools, indicate significant long-term benefits for selective school graduates, including higher occupational status, better educational qualifications, and higher income by age 42. Such findings suggest that the benefits of selective schooling may not be fully apparent by age 25 and that the long-term impacts are significant.

Selective schools provide significant benefits in terms of choice, academic rigour, long-term success, educational innovation and personal wellbeing. Acknowledging students with talent, fostering the pursuit of excellence, and supporting parents as the arbiter of their child’s educational pathway is of utmost importance.

Although direct comparison with the schooling system in American cannot be made, attitudes to the principle of choice can be compared. In some US states school funding is based on a ‘voucher system’, where funding follows the child. Governor DeSantis in Florida expanded the school voucher program to include every student in the state, regardless of income. Parents can apply and use up to $8000 a year towards private schools that accept the voucher. This gives parents choice. As Donald Trump said in a speech in 2016:

“Who’s better off, the kids who use vouchers to go to the school of their choice, or the ones who choose to stay in public school? All of them. That’s the way it works in a competitive system.”

Class Action out and about

Class Action will hold a gathering for interested parents and teachers in ADELAIDE.

When:
Wednesday August 14^th 7pm – 9pm

Where:
The Maid Hotel
Terrace Room
1 Magill Rd
Stepney, SA 5069

RSVP:
This is a free event. Bookings are essential, click here or the image below to book.

Quote:

Keeping with this month’s theme on parents:

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” Ann Landers